


That Which Has Been Broken

by youlooklikepan



Category: Nathan Barley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youlooklikepan/pseuds/youlooklikepan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yet another take on why Jones didn't visit Dan in the hospital. Jones needs to know they aren't broken irreparably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Which Has Been Broken

When he first heard about Dan's 'accident' all Jones felt was an overwhelming surge of disappointment; in Dan for being so stupid, in himself for not trying harder to help him, in the outside world for driving Dan to it in the first place. He stayed away from the hospital for days, refusing to visit as a form of punishment, though whether that was for Dan or for himself he couldn't say.

He ignored the disparaging looks Claire shot him every time she came back from the hospital to find him still lost in his music, retreating from the world around him, knowing that she wouldn't understand even if he had the words to explain why he was staying away from Dan. The only way he could express himself these days was with his music and even Dan, who'd always managed to catch the essence if not the nuances of the message before, had stopped listening properly.

Or maybe Jones had stopped trying to make him find the meaning, drawing away from Dan's increasing paranoia as if it were somehow infectious. He'd lost himself in memories of Dan as he'd been when they'd first met, caustic still, sarcastic and cynical, but full of life. He'd been Jones's anchor when things fell apart, strength and stability and unquestioning support. Then he'd changed and Jones selfishly, childishly, had decided to ignore it and hope it went away. They'd lost sight of each other then, living together but always apart, and Jones no longer knew how he could try to fix them.

But eventually he had to give in, had to see Dan and reassure himself that they weren't broken irreparably. And that was how he found himself on a dreary ward in a dreary NHS hospital, waiting for one of the harried nurses to notice him so he could ask which drawn curtain Dan was hidden behind. He wasn't even sure it was visiting hours yet, there had been a sign on the door advising people when they were, but he'd ignored that in favour of getting this over with before he backed out. Still, no one had asked him to leave yet.

When someone finally took pity on him he'd almost turned around and left, it would have been so easy to claim he'd got the wrong ward. But he'd steeled himself and been pointed to the appropriate bed, ushered in almost, and told he had twenty minutes to start repairing months of damage.

Dan looked like shit, not that Jones had expected anything different, but he attempted a smile when saw Jones. Jones who felt ridiculous and awkward, staring down at the man who'd always picked him up in the past, and he suddenly couldn't bear being there. But before he could flee Dan reached out to him, the barest twitching of his fingers seen from the corner of his eye, just enough to draw him back.

And suddenly it all made sense. Yes they'd drifted apart, but Dan would always be there to draw Jones back in and help him make sense of the world again, and Jones would try to teach Dan how to find the meaning in his music again.

They weren't fixed, not by a long shot, but as Jones curled his fingers around Dan's he thought they would be.


End file.
